To think This was the night before..
Just 8 hours before she would take her last breathe and fly to heaven.
Trinity didn't go to sleep until around 3am and was up again at 7 am to eat, I fed her and put her in bed with us.(mistake? IDK) Around 11 I woke up all of a sudden since I hadn't heard Trinity since 7am when I layed her next to us.. I woke up and Trinity was facing John.. Covered in blood. It was the worst thing I have EVER woke up to, She was a little tiny bit pale but she was still warm so I thought there was hope. Her heart was beating still when Taken to the hospital by aumbulance. They wouldn't let us in the room while doing CPR.. The minute pastor or preist or minister whoever he was, came in the room I just KNEW. They couldn't get her to breath on her own and eventually her heart stopped...They brought her to us for us to say our goodbyes before the funeral home, her body was soo pale, and getting colder by the minute. She had a tube down her mouth to catch fluids, I'm guessing. Her chest was SOOOO black and blue and bruised from them putting so much force on her while doing CPR. The hospital had a box of things, for us inside was a ugly robe thing that the nurse put on Trinity and a blanket she wrapped her into go to the funeral home in and then we would get to keep it. We got to do Hanf and foot prints although the social worker was a little weirded out I think to touch Trinity So I did it on my own with his help a little.
The Police came to the hospital for their "investigation" and john and to tell his part and I had to tell mine. They didn't believe what john was saying because his story was so out there.. but he was asleep for almost all of it so he remembered nothing. As soon as they were done talking to john again..They rushed us out of there They honestly didn't give a fuck, if our baby just died. A detective came and looked and took pictures of EVERYTHING in our house..refrigerator and all! And asked us all kinds of questions. They serious acted like we did something wrong. I guess Guilty until prven innocent was used in this case. We didn't hear the actual cause of death until 6 months after. We had thought it was something to do with her brain or possibly a vein that blew, since she was bleeding so bad from her nose/mouth, but then it all came down to... sudden infant death occuring while co-sleeping with parents( and yes this is the EXACT wording on her death certificate. )
Trinity was just 6 weeks and 3 days old when she passed away. Visitation, dressing and casketing was on Thursday July 19th @ 2 I believe. That day..Aunt Misty decorated the room and was holding Trinity when we got there. she was VERY VERY VERY cold. She had been embalmed so she looked like a porcealian baby and not real at all. John wasn't took happy about it. The embalming guy had a hard time embalming her...because when he would push the stuff in her veins it would make her eyes bulge and start opening, or inicially she got more embalming than her tiny body could handle since it was also leaking out of the whole he put it in threw.
I had planned on wanting to dress her myself since it would lower the funeral cost. It was a bit harder than I thought it would be. She was pretty stiff and it was a bit hard to get her in the outfit I wanted her in put evenutally Me and John did it.
Friday July 20th, was the funeral and the day we would bury her.. Just 7 week to the day That she was born. I had picked out a PINK casket for her that was specially made, with string closures with her name in beads. It was beautiful for a beautiful little girl I wasn't ready to put her in it at all until it was absoulelty time to I was not ready to give up my baby. I held her the whole reception and I carried her to the car and drove with her on mine and john's lap to the cemetary. Watching Her uncles and daddy bury her was the hardest thing to have to watch.
All During the days (17-20) before she was buried, John and his dad and my brother and John's brother all dug the whole that Trinity would rest in..What a awesome daddy to do that for his daughter. It was no easy job either.. it was nothing but pure granite and thats hard to dig threw. It had to be shovel deep all the way around They didn't get it done until the morning of the 20th I believe. John didn't only dig the hole because he wanted to but it also was cheaper, it would of costed money to have some machine come out and dig it.
Okay I'm rambling now.
Eating Pizza crust... She Loves it.!
