Sadness

I'm having a very hard time with Trinity's birthday approaching very soon! It seems so UNFAIR that we have to celebrate 2nd birthday without her, when we didn't even a first...at her grave, instead of at a park with birthday cake and candles and presents... but we celebrate with tears, and fake smiles. " Everything happens, For a reason" I still do not understand this.. there was NO reason for her to die, she was healthy. why was she picked? why her? why me? Why was I chose to be a mother to a angel? I still have so many questions and I get no answers. My answers end with "SIDS". This isn't right at all. I shouldn't be sitting her crying I should be loving on my 23 month old little girl.. not holding on to the memories I have of her, or the clothes she wore, or the blanket she was wrapped in at the funeral home or the memory book that was made for us.. that I still have not looked at because its just too hard to handle. I shouldn't be thinking about all the things McKenzyee does that Trinity never did or will ever get to do or how the slightest talk of Trinity and I burst into tears..or how at family get togethers wonder if anyone thinks or remembers trinity..

I will ALWAYS love you, Trinity Eliana. A Perfect Angel in my Eyes, Taken FAR too soon.