Thursday, December 24, 2009

A Moment in time..

Today, Madelynn turns 6 weeks and 3 days old..The same Age Trinity was when she was Taken from us. This is a SUPER hard time when They hit this age for me. I'm already totally freaked out until They are one. I'm always checking Juliana and Madelynn's breathing while they are sleeping. I'm VERY traumatized after loosing Trinity. I'm still very scared to lose another baby, even if "SIDS" striking twice in one family is rare. I Still can't help but think it could happen again.I know God is in Control of Everything, All we Can do is Pray and hope for the best, That Madelynn will make it past 1 yr Without me loosing my mind. I'm SOO glad this will be my last time stressing this age.


Madelynn is now weighing in probably at 10ish pounds she's chunked up A LOT since coming home from the NICU. She's Just now growing out of Newborn clothes And Diapers. She Smiles now as has since 5 week, which is SOO cute. ( I have yet to get it on Camera yet) She smiles SOOO much at my mom when she comes over. AWW. Madelynn looks SOOOOOO much like Trinity it's insane. Which then means She looks like John. She has my fingers and toes. Everything else is pretty much daddy. Although were not sure whos nose she has just yet. I'm Thinking It's more mine though.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Madelynn Sophia is here!!

On 11/9 We went in for our Scheduled c-section, I was a bit nervous even if this was my 3rd c-section I have no clue why though. I kept thinking of me dying, I guess that's normal though when you go threw surgery. Anyways, Madelynn Sophia was born on 11/9 at 7:48am weighing 6lbs 10 oz and 19 inches long. HEr spgars were 7 and then 8 .She looks EXACTLY like her daddy, It's like HE spit her out not me.
Madelynn did have some complications at Birth, She came out a greyish color and breathing really heavily and fast and they weren't sure why so they took her to the little nursery our hospital has and she got a xray Etc. of her lungs.
Turns out, She had a collapsed lung(pneumothorax on her right), And Her Aveloi had bursted open causing air to leak on the side of her lung. She was put on This Hood for Oxygen and a IV was started. The oncall pedi thought it would be best to send her to Medford to the NICU for close observation incase it got worse. (Our hospital isnt equipped for special care for babies.) I Didn't actually get to Meet her until The third day after she was born.
Madelynn came home from the NICU, Yesterday 11/14 after we had to room-in with her overnight to make sure she was good to go and didn't have fast breathing overnight.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Sadness

I'm having a very hard time with Trinity's birthday approaching very soon! It seems so UNFAIR that we have to celebrate 2nd birthday without her, when we didn't even a first...at her grave, instead of at a park with birthday cake and candles and presents... but we celebrate with tears, and fake smiles. " Everything happens, For a reason" I still do not understand this.. there was NO reason for her to die, she was healthy. why was she picked? why her? why me? Why was I chose to be a mother to a angel? I still have so many questions and I get no answers. My answers end with "SIDS". This isn't right at all. I shouldn't be sitting her crying I should be loving on my 23 month old little girl.. not holding on to the memories I have of her, or the clothes she wore, or the blanket she was wrapped in at the funeral home or the memory book that was made for us.. that I still have not looked at because its just too hard to handle. I shouldn't be thinking about all the things McKenzyee does that Trinity never did or will ever get to do or how the slightest talk of Trinity and I burst into tears..or how at family get togethers wonder if anyone thinks or remembers trinity..

I will ALWAYS love you, Trinity Eliana. A Perfect Angel in my Eyes, Taken FAR too soon.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Pancakes

Juliana tried Pankcakes tonight, since thats what we were having for dinner.. and She LOVED them she ate 3 tiny pancakes,after eating 1 1/2 jars of food and puffs and yogurt melts,She's quite the eater if you cant tell. She LOVES food. it was so cute, watching her eat them, she loves eating any foods with her fingers.



She was making quite the faces when I was taking pictures of her..

She has quite the character already, She's hilarious.


Monday, May 4, 2009

First Time hearing heartbeat!

Today I had my 2nd OB visit, although it wasnt with my OB it was with the nurse practioner Katie, I only just turned 12 weeks so, I didn't think she would be able to pick up the heartbeat since this is a tricky time to, but she DID! yay! It was 160BPM, From the heartbeart sounds Girl.. but we will see in June.
I had to get my blood drawn today also.. I always hate it but it was okay as long as I didn't look. I have my NT screening in a couple days and we get to see baby on u/s again yay! Can't wait.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Juliana is 7 months old!! wow.

Eating Pizza crust... She Loves it.!




Juliana is 7 months old! wow. I can't believe more than a half year has gone by. Juliana is now 16 pounds and 27 inches long. She rolls everywhere.. and scoots to places she wants to go, she can hold her bottle on her own, she says "dada", and now just this week"baba", She can sit up on her own, and she LOVES to dance, It's so cute. She LOVES blowing spit bubbles, she does it in the middle of the night too lol. She's starting to clap which is cute, because be do ptty cake all the time.. She still has no teeth, and isnt crawling still, oh well. she will soon. Here's some pictures from Today.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Random Pictures. 6 months

Loving on sissy's monkey bobby jack
First time eating cut up avacado.. she LOVES it.
McKenzyee's first time feeding Juliana.. quite the mess she made feeding her.
This is what happens when Juliana thinks it's funny to spit more food lands
on her/her highchair than in her tummy.
Getting ready to go for a walk
Her sippy she loves it
SOOOO cute! She fell asleep with sissy's doll and her binky.. All a girl could want right?